The past few days God has parked me in Psalm 37. When I was going through my divorce, I had the privilege to be mentored for a brief season by a very godly man. He pointed me to Psalm 37:1-9 and 23-24. At the time, I was too consumed with my own pride to fully understand what he was trying to show me. But now I have come to understand a piece of what he was talking about.
He had me circle in my bible certain words in verses 1-9. He said these were words to live by. Looking back now, I couldn’t agree more. Here are those verses with the selected words in bold:
1Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers!
2For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb.
3Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
4Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act.
6He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
7Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
Fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!
8Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
9For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.
23The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way;
24Though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.
These are some hard words to live by. It’s hard not to worry. It’s hard to trust in him when you can’t see the outcome and so desperately want to know and see it. And trying to delight in someone you can’t tangibly see can be nearly impossible at times. Being still and waiting patiently are equally as difficult. But I have received just a taste of what life is like with these words to live…and I want more. I’m tired of trying to live according to my own wits and understandings when my Lord stands at the door of my heart knocking and seeking to give me so much more.
Those who know me best know that I over think things TO FREAKING DEATH. It’s a curse sometimes because I can’t stop it. It’s like I try to stop over thinking something and then I over think the over thinking. (I sound like a crazy person.) And I know it’s all because I don’t want to let go of control. Control…isn’t that what it all boils down to? Each of the words above is God’s way of knocking on my heart to let him have control. “Don’t worry. Trust me. Delight in me. Commit your way to me. Be still and wait patiently for me. Don’t get angry and don’t worry…it only brings evil. I’ll look after you. I have your best interest in mind, but you have to give me control. Lay it all down and I will deal with wisdom and tender care.”
Right now I’m trying to learn to delight in him, not for what he can do but for WHO he is. After all, nothing can satisfy me but him. John Piper, pastor and writer, says that Christ is most glorified when we are most satisfied in him. So that’s my aim…to be satisfied in him more and more each moment of each day. It’s not easy and I’ll fail at it miserably at times. But his promise is that when I truly delight in him, that he will give me the desires of my heart AND establish my steps. So what do I really have to lose? Other than control that is…